Looking after yourself

Having a loved one in Intensive Care can be emotionally and physically exhausting.  It can be all too easy to forget to take care of yourself. Try to remember, though, that you will need all your strength to help look after your loved one when he/she gets out of hospital.

Try to keep to as normal a routine as you can

It's completely understandable to feel that you want to "be there", to stay as close to your loved one as possible, either at their bedside, in the waiting room or even just around the hospital. Some people find it less tiring to make their visits shorter, and to spread them throughout the day. It might help to try to stick as closely to your normal routine as you can (getting up or eating at your normal time, for example), no matter how difficult this might seem.

Eat well and rest as much as you can

It might seem like common sense, but it's all too easy to forget to eat properly when you're stressed and upset. Some people find that it helps to eat little and often.You may also find it hard to sleep in the first few days or if your loved one's condition becomes unstable or is deteriorating. Try to get as much rest as you can, even if it's just short naps during the day.

Don't be frightened to ask for help

Friends and family often rally round when someone is seriously ill; visiting in shifts, keeping everyone up to date or preparing food, etc. Don't be afraid to ask for help, as people are normally very happy to do whatever they can. Many people find talking to other family members in the ICU's waiting room helpful, as they will understand only too well what you're going through.    

Arranging time off work

Think about speaking to your employer as soon as you can about taking some time off work, especially in the first few days after your loved one is admitted to Intensive Care.You might also want to think about taking some time off when he/she gets out of hospital, or working in a more part-time or flexible way. From what other people have told us, most employers are very understanding in these circumstances, and usually try to accommodate.

Nominate a spokesperson to keep others up to date

You may find that your phone never stops ringing, in between hospital visits,especially if you have a large circle of family and friends enquiring after your loved one. While some find this very comforting and supportive, there may be times when you simply want to be left alone.You might find it useful to nominate a family member or friend who can keep everyone else up to date on your behalf.

Spiritual support

Many people take great comfort in their faith at these times. If you would like to speak with someone, ask the staff to contact a member of the Spiritual Care Team. They can offer a kind ear, regardless of your faith or situation. If you would like to speak with someone from your own faith or belief system, they will be very happy to make the arrangements for you.